How to Tell your Partner about having Cosmetic Surgery

So you have decided on your desired cosmetic surgery, found a surgeon with vast experience in the cosmetic field, and saved enough money to cover all your hospital expenses. The only thing left for you to do is telling your partner about your decision. Whether it’s a breast augmentation to improve your breast profile or a labiaplasty to improve your sexual function, your partner may not understand what you are about to go through.

Why it’s Hard to tell your Partner about your Decision to have Cosmetic Surgery?

It may difficult for some people to tell their spouse or significant other that they want to undergo cosmetic surgery, while others may be open about it.

The following are the reasons why it’s hard to tell your partner about your decision:

  • Your partner accepts your physical imperfections: Your physical appearance may not be an issue to your partner but undergoing such cosmetic procedure can make your partner think that you’ll be a different person.
  • Cosmetic procedures are too expensive: Your partner may think that your desired cosmetic procedure is not a necessity and you’ll end up spending a lot. As a result, your partner may offer practical advice such as saving your money in the bank, investing in a business, or buying your own house.
  • Your partner worries about the outcome of your surgery: It’s just normal for your partner to worry about you especially if he’s not knowledgeable of the kind of procedure that you’ll go through. This creates negativity and may cause you to feel discouraged about your decision.
  • Your partner may think that you’ll leave him: Your partner may fear that if you look younger, slender, and prettier, you’ll leave him. Specifically, he may think that other men will be attracted to you and this is where competition comes in. While you may think that your partner is being possessive, the truth is that he just wants to secure the marriage or relationship that you have.

How do you tell and persuade your Partner about having Cosmetic Surgery?

Perhaps the most challenging task of having your desired cosmetic surgery is telling your partner about it. But there are things that you can do to make him change his mind and support you in your decision. The following are some tips to help you convince your partner:

  • Schedule a free consultation with your surgeon and take advantage of it: You need to consult your surgeon and express your desire to change a part of your body because this will give you a chance to practice what you want to say before you discuss it with your loved one.
  • Tell your partner about the entire costs of the procedure and that you are financially prepared: Money may be an issue if you don’t give your partner a specific breakdown of the costs of the procedure. It may be a wise idea to give him a list such as the surgeon’s fee, procedure fee, and other expenses during your hospital stay. Aside from this, it may also be a good idea to show him that you still have money left in your bank.
  • Show your spouse the credentials of your surgeon and the medical facility: Undergoing cosmetic surgery under a renowned medical facility and highly experienced surgeon may help your partner achieve peace of mind. This helps prevent your partner from worrying about you.
  • Choose the right time to have the chat: Sometimes, telling your partner at the right time is the best strategy. Think about date night at home and prepare his favorite meals and drinks – this will lighten up his mood and be positive about what you are about to say.
  • Explain to your partner that your physical appearance is the major cause of your low self-esteem: A study published in the Canadian Journal of Plastic Surgery found that the major factor that motivates people to undergo cosmetic surgery is low self-esteem. [1] Perhaps low self-esteem is also your major motivator. You can explain to your partner that your current physical appearance is affecting your quality of life and that enhancing a certain part of your body may help address your psychological problem. Make it clear with your partner that you are doing this for yourself and that you want to feel good and confident enough.
  • Be completely honest with your partner: Some may think of ways like not seeing their partner for several weeks or even months to allow their body to recover without informing their partner. While this may be a good idea, it will always be an issue if your partner finds out because you’re not being completely honest with him.



  1. Furnham A, Levitas J. Factors that motivate people to undergo cosmetic surgery. Can J Plast Surg. 2012;20(4):e47-e50. 

If you are considering cosmetic surgery to improve your physical appearance as well as self-esteem, schedule a consultation with one of our highly trained surgeons to know more about your desired procedure.

About Dr Mark Gittos FRACS (Plast) – New Zealand Plastic Surgeon 

Practice locations in Herne Bay Auckland, Northland and Bay of Plenty – Kerikeri, Whangarei, New Plymouth & Tauranga

Dr Mark Gittos is a leading Specialist Plastic Surgeon and operates a practice in Herne Bay, Auckland and in the UK. The practice focuses on both surgical and non-surgical procedures, each designed to help restore, improve or change a physical characteristic or problem. The first step in every case is to talk through your personal requirements and explore all the options, before deciding on the most effective solution.

Dr Mark Gittos offers high quality, natural-looking cosmetic surgery results and is highly experienced in BreastBody and Face Surgery having performed over 4000 Surgeries in the last 26 years.  With worldwide expertise Dr Gittos is an expert in breast, face and body surgery for men & women. 

Naturally, before any treatment is begun, we will explain clearly the advantages and risk factors; so that you have the information you need to make an informed decision that is best for you. Visit the practice to find out more.


Please NOTE: Dr Gittos only performs surgery on non-smoker patients with a BMI less than 30. To check your BMI please visit the NZ Heart Foundation website. For help giving up smoking before surgery visit the Smoke Free website

Do your Research

What to Bring to your Plastic Surgeon Consultation

  • Bring a friend or relative to help discuss the information and your choices
  • Take lots of notes and read the documents provided thoroughly
  • Dress in simple clothes as you may need to undress for examination
  • Bring your medical referral and any relevant medical documents or test results

Book your Initial Surgery Consultation

  • A Referral from your GP or specialist is helpful but NOT essential – you can have a consultation without a GP Referral
  • Email us or Call on 09 529 5352 to arrange your surgeon consultation appointment.
  • Book a consultation with Dr Gittos by paying the Consultation Fee – $350 incl GST

Traveling for Surgery? – Consider post-surgery luxury recovery in a Hotel with LuxeCare

Please contact us to arrange to book a consultation with our Specialist Plastic Surgeon or to speak with our Patient Care Advisor.

Send an enquiry form today or phone  09 529 5352  during Clinic Hours